When I jumped in my car, turned on my Uber app for the first time, and headed blindly into the Uber-verse, I knew I faced a learning curve. I harbored a few unanswered questions too. How will I find my riders? Will they be ready and respect my car? Will I make any money? What’s it like to spend 40-plus hours a week behind a steering wheel?
After six months, 30,000 miles and around 3200 riders, I’ve come up with the following undeniable truths of Ubering life. I won’t tell you how I’ve learned them . . . something has to be left to the imagination.
- Alcohol consumption affects all five senses, especially hearing. The more alcohol my riders have consumed, the louder they want the radio.
- Eventually, your car will be christened by the late night bar crowd, and wise drivers carry an emergency cleaning kit.
- Regarding #2, coffee grounds work the best to take the smell of bar-fly barf out of the carpet.
- Happy drunks run in a pack.
- Depressed and lonely drunks will be standing alone like a lost sheep, under a streetlamp, pondering their shoelaces.
- Uber pricing surges make the late nights worthwhile. You won’t catch every surge, but when you do, ride it to the shore.
- Twenty-somethings never wear more than their black, lace clubbing clothes for the evening, regardless of the temperature, snowfall or windchill.
- Picking up weekend rider after 3:30 AM is like looking for lost puppies.
- Early birds get the biggest worms.
- Cleanup batters hit doubles and triples all night until the stands are empty.
- Riders who text “I’ll be right out.” will keep their driver waiting the longest.
- Everyone is broken, the lucky few know it.